Preparation #4

If you have ever been a boyscout or girl scout then you understand the need for preparation.  Most military pro’s also know the importance of preparation.  I never go on a day trip somewhere without water, snacks, flashlight, knife, and other tools.  We want to prepare for social encounters and other life events.  Imagine the amount of preparation that goes into planning a wedding so that those 3-6 hours are as amazing and flawless as can be?  That’s the type of preparation you want to put into your daily life. But, you don’t want to spend that much time, of course. I want you to be able to apply the 80/20 rule. Now, that we are aware of our strengths, weaknesses, and those of the participants in our social gathering, we can prepare for success.  Our success is defined as whatever goals you want ot achieve from the event, conversation or what have you.

I used to always feel like the last one to find out something whether it was a new video game, new band, or current event.  I hated being the last one to find stuff out so I vowed to change that. I thought about chipsets. They are known for being the original adopter’s of many things unique and unseen.  I wanted to be the ultimate hipster in the sense of the word but not the clothing style.  I decided to find out popular news websites, news apps, new music apps that I can use to stay current.  One of my favorite tech news apps is called AppyGeek.   The Instructables website is a great resource for staying current on cool do-it-yourself projects. There are a lot of great guides on making anything from lawn ornaments to shaving yourself with fire.

The best way to be prepared is to know your surroundings through familiarity. The typical person probably has routine places they go to for different things every week such as church, grocery store, gym, work, and maybe a park.  An expert socialite like you needs familiar social spots so that when you show up people know your name, where you like to sit and what you like to order.  Whether or not your thing is bars, clubs, sports, or pottery. Own it.

For a common social example lets take bars. One week you decide to try five different places, which isn’t hard especially if they are within walking distance.  Feel free to take one friend.  If you take a group then it will be harder to create an identity with the bartenders and servers. Make sure you sit somewhere open with lots of light so that you will be noticed by other staff and patrons.  Don’t be shy with you body language while investigating the decor, patrons, and other details of the bar.  You want the staff to know that you are interested in your surroundings and approachable. Look out for someone dressed extra well. It could be the bar manager. Try to make eye contact with him or her. You order your favorite drink at each one.  Hopefully, you can show up during happy hour where there isn’t too much of a rush so that you can talk to the bar tender.  If there is a big rush during happy hour then this might not be a good spot to select because it will be harder to get noticed.  You also don’t want to be the only person there.  You openly tell the bartender that you are looking for a new bar to go to.  Make sure you leave a generous tip before you leave.

Out of these five bars you have picked one and decided to go back within the next 48 hours with a small group of friends.  Greet the staff by name if you remember.  If you had a great conversation with them and returned within 48 hours then it shouldn’t be too hard. Bartenders and servers are proficient at remembering who tips well. They will be happy to see you have returned with friends. If the opportunity arrives, feel free to introduce your friends and mention that you brought them here because you had such a great time the first visit.

Scenarios..run through in your mind.

Meetup, a great app for iOS and Android, connects you with people who are interested in the same hobbies as you.  You can search groups based based on interests, location and popularity. Once you find a groups you like you may join them so that you can go to the “meetups” and communicate with the members.  This is a great way to make new friends or meet people in a new city.

Tools – Leveraging Mobile Tech

In my quest for originality and never being the last one to find out about something again, I have employed several apps. Check out life hacking apps like Band of the Day, Reddit Is Fun, and Wondrous. When I get new apps, I always make sure to check the notification settings.  Especially if it is a social networking app, I want to make sure I’m notified when anything monumental happens.

Band of the Day shows you a new band every day. Most of the time you get to listen to one to two full songs from the band.  “Reddit is fun” allows you to communicate on the Reddit forums from your mobile easily.  Depending on who you talk to, you could get a negative opinion about Reddit. Some of the content can be pretty useless or unwanted. Reddit is the sewer of the information highway but if you search correctly you may find a shiny quarter of information. It’s especially useful for finding detailed information like “Is it legal to pick up money from fountains in shopping malls?”  Wondrous tracks where you have been in the world by placing a marker on its map.  It creates a fog over the areas that you haven’t been on the map to create a plan on words of the war term, “fog of war”.

Use these apps to get started with your preparation, then find your own new ways for staying current. Interacting with people on Reddit and meetup will give you two very different types of social exposure.   This will help you prepare to deal with different personalities.

Skill-Spontaneity and Pretexting

Being spontaneous helps build great reflexes.  Over lanning is never good in a social situation because you lose site of the big picture by focusing on minute details. Anytime you are offered a responsibility, that is an opportunity in disguise.  You are constantly being tested and selected.  Your boss tests you, your teacher, your significant other’s parents, the guy sitting next to you at the cafe. They are constantly challenging you.  Humans are curious. They want to discover your worth.  Take responsibilities as a chance for opportunity which provides personal growth. When you decide to go with a plan, commit to it. If you promised to take your significant other on a picnic but it rains. He or she might say “ah forget about it” but don’t accept their invitation to let you off the hook. Even though it’s not your fault that it’s raining they will still admire that you offered an awesome solution.  Find a picnic table with  an umbrella  to eat under if they don’t mind eating outside still or setup in the garage on the floor.    The sun porch would also be a great solution if you open up the windows.

Years ago, I wanted to do something especially spontaneous that would show her I love her.  I volunteering at the city’s Alzheimer’s walk that spring.   Earlier that morning I had helped blow up about 50 balloons to tie from one end of a light pole to the other to decorate the finish line.  Once the event was over I asked if I could have the balloons. They wondered what I was going to do with them but I said it was a surprised because some of the people know my girlfriend at the time.  I walked the bundle of balloons from the park all the way back to campus to tie in front of her dorm. I also put a poster board sign out that says “I love you”. Multiple girls came out of the dorm while I was setting this up.  I got lots of compliments and gawkings. A couple girls even said they wish their boyfriend did stuff like that. Yes guys, it is cheesy but girls love it. Some guys do as well.  My girlfriend ended up loving it too.

Later that year, we became long distance as she had to go home for the school break. I had to do something that would top the last big thing I did for her. Randomly, it came to me.  Give her a box of Hershey kisses, one for each day we are apart. So, I did. She loved it. The opposite sex loves sticktoitiveness. be positive.do the wrong thing, be different, be unpredictable, say the wrong thing, lose at stuff and laugh about it. when you mess up or do something corny laugh with the person who laughs at you.But don’t mock them, laugh with them. define what is mainstream response. do something different. rinse, repeat. adventures create stories which supplement storytelling. make unorthodox or stretch analogies, don’t let someone be able to guess what your next move is. Be courageous in our actions, if your friends are afraid to talk to that girl or group of guys the ngo for it. Let your friends fear fuel you. For the next week practice hiding your emotions